50 Reasons
by Validhreniel
Summary: A series of 50 vignettes about Carlton and Shawn and their relationship. Maybe some GusJuliet. Read and enjoy.
1. Motion

**A/N:** This is my first stab at Psych fic-ing. I'm pretty damn new to the fandom so don't be too harsh. I'm also lacking in a beta so if anyone wants to be a beta for me, let me know!! 49 chapters to follow this one, assuming I don't get lazy/busy and forget. In any case, all chapters can be read as one shots. So if I forget, no cliff hangers!

**Chapter Title:** Motion

**Rating: **PG-13 sounds about right

**Pairings: **Lassy/Shawn, possibly Gus/Juliet in later chapters, yet to be decided. Shassi centric in any case.

**Summary:** Shawn is not the only one doing the seducing in the relationship.

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me. Obviously.

* * *

It doesn't matter how many times Carlton does it, Shawn is still fascinated by the way he can still sweep the pseudo-psychic off of his feet and make him feel like it's the first time all over again. It's not about what he says so much. It's about the way he moves; the way the Irish detective seduces Shawn over and over.

He's not like Shawn, not all over the place and not over eager about getting through their meals and into the bedroom. He sits back, relaxes and Shawn can never seem to tear his eyes away from the older man, not for a second.

While Shawn is obviously flirty, very much the flaming queen, Carlton hides his romancing. When they eat out, he'll keep up a normal conversation, glaring at Shawn when he gets too embarrassing. Sometimes, when the older male gets excited about some victory in work, he leans forward a bit, his face seems a bit less dark and he gestures vaguely with his hands in a way that leaves Shawn oddly wanting to leave the restaurant right then. Well, that or throw him down on the table and fuck him right there.

When food comes to their table, Shawn knows he's in trouble. Carlton eats slowly, savors his meal. It's not too often that he can really relax. Even though it may look like he gets no where, what with Shawn outpacing him on cases somewhat often, Carlton works hard. He's good at his job, just not showy and doesn't feel that need to make a big deal about his victories. Even at home, he works, hunched over his files and tense. For Shawn, work ends when he's home. Carlton almost never seems to really let go of his cases.

So when he does relax, Carlton really does relax. He savors his food, eating slowly and carefully. Something about the way he eats on date night seems rather obscene, the way his tongue smoothly glides over his lips to catch stray crumbs, how he presses his fork to his mouth while he decides what to nibble at first.

By the time they've finished eating; Shawn's always dying to go. Date night can only end one way and Carlton's sultry behavior is maddening. By the time Carlton signals a waiter for the check, Shawn's already squirming, trying to play a smooth game of footsie under the table.

Carlton pays and they head out, Shawn clinging to Carlton and trying his damnedest to make the older male laugh. Even now, the movements Carlton makes are enough to drive Shawn up a wall. He sort of sways, shoulder brushing shoulder, hip brushing hip. If they weren't in a public place, Shawn might just throw him down there. As it were, he already entertained ideas of wild kissing right there and then.

Sometimes they'll make it as far as the car and on one rare occasion, they made it all the way home. But normally, as they walk from the restaurant, Shawn decides he can't wait anymore and finds a wall or a car or a pole or a tree or something and he'll push Carlton against it for a rather ferocious make-out session. They rarely made it home without both males looking flushed.

But it wasn't just about how well Carlton kissed (very well) or how sexually needy Shawn always seemed to be. It was about those in between motions. The way they spoke with their bodies, Shawn screaming 'pay attention to me, love me,' Carlton merely suggesting 'you know, I can do a neat little thing with my tongue if you'd care to find out.'


	2. Cool

**Chapter Title:** Cool

**Rating:** This one is pretty much PG

**Pairings:** All Shawn/Lassiter

**Summary:** Carlton is discovering that cool is not so important anymore

**Notes:** This is pretty much unedited. I did a bit of editing but there's been no beta-ing on this. I'm not too sure I like the last paragraph. Any suggestions, constructive criticism, let me know. Also, thanks to my one reviewer thus far!!

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me still.

* * *

Carlton Lassiter has never really been what he would call cool. 

When he was a kid, he tried to be one of those cool kids but he never quite made it. He was too interested in playing with the kids playing cops and robbers. Even when he was very small, he knew he wanted to be a cop. But none of the so-called cool kids wanted him around.

When he was a teenager, he pretended to be less concerned with the cool kids. He was a veritable black hole of cool-ness. Since he lacked the charisma and chic clothing, he drew taunts rather then friends. With some work, he managed to convince himself that being cool wasn't that important. No matter what he told himself, he still worried, still fretted, just did so silently. No matter how hard he tried to get past the desire to fit in, he never quite could.

The police academy years were rather different. Now he had a real goal to work for and being well liked and surrounded by friends did not feel as important. Some part of him still longed for the comforts of well-loved companions but he found his work distracted him. By the time he actually made it onto the force, he didn't think about friends ever. Well, maybe the occational need for some sort of social contact outside of work but he dealt with that when he got married.

Lauren had been the right person at the right time. She'd been easy going when they were dating and she didn't ask too much. Carlton had never been all that sure that this was what he really wanted out of life but after a year of dating, he wasn't sure what else he did want so he asked her to marry him. A few years of uncomfortable wedded life later and Carlton opted out.

He spent the time post marriage completely to himself. He had the one bit of a fling with his partner at the time and then, nothing. He sealed himself off. Carlton did his best to kill off the part of him that wanted to have a real social life, that wanted to be cool.

But then Shawn Spencer inconveniently popped into Carlton's neat little life and made a mess of absolutely everything. At first the psychic was simply an annoyance and Carlton dealt with him by doing what he did best: ignoring him. But as time inched by, he found that simply ignoring the other male didn't work. It was like being in grade school again, longing for that cool kid to look up from his group of friends, even if it was just for a smile.

When they started dating, after several months of Carlton's guarded stares and Shawn's flamboyant flirting, the older male found himself worrying about coolness all over again. Was he cool enough for Shawn? Would he be able to keep Shawn's interest once the faux-psychic got past the excitement of a new romance? Was he enough? It was like grade school but a hundred times worse because now he was scared of loosing the first person who he'd ever really know he wanted to keep in his life.

Shawn was so different from what he was used to and he had found that over the first few months of their relationship that he had a certain fondness for Shawn. Maybe not love but now, when he worried about coolness, he worried because he didn't want Shawn to leave.

And Shawn didn't leave. Carlton wasn't sure why but as months turned into years, he didn't ask. And somehow, coolness dropped totally out of his mind.

After all, coolness seemed rather irrelevant on those weekend mornings when he sat at their kitchen table in boxers and a t-shirt, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper or a magazine while Shawn ate cereal and teased him about some silly thing or another. Carlton was loved, he was wanted, he was needed. That was plenty.


	3. Young

**Chapter Title:** Young 

**Rating:** This one is also pretty much PG

**Pairings:** All Shawn/Lassiter

**Summary:** Shawn and Lassie might just not be too young for these kinds of things anymore

**Notes:** This is beta'd so maybe my writing will look decent for once. Many thanks to my beta, Sushi Chi. All hail, yes. Anyway, read and enjoy. The charries might be a touch OOC but I did my best! Oh, and did anyone catch the super slashy moments on the season finale? There were two really great ones!

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me still. Very sad.

* * *

"Don't you think I'm far too young and pretty for this sort of thing?" Shawn whined as his dear Lassie brought out the pile of paperwork he'd been talking about getting around to. It wasn't anything too terrible, just backed up casework but Shawn wasn't in the mood to help with any sort of paperwork whatsoever. "We'll have plenty of time to do nothing useful when we're dead." He paced in the kitchen, causing Lassiter to raise one eyebrow in his direction, shake his head and return to work.

"Come on Lassie…" Shawn pouted for a moment and glanced out the window. It was lovely outside and Shawn had made some plans for the day. Carlton's stupid paperwork was ruining everything. The older male set down his pen and stared at Shawn for a moment. Shawn brightened up and then sat in the chair next to Carlton.

"Carly-" Carlton winced. He hated that stupid variation of his name. "Carly, let's go to the beach. Or sit in the yard. Or something." Shawn insisted, leaning forward slightly, a wicked little grin dancing around the corners of his mouth. The cop sighed. Once Shawn had set his mind on something, there'd be no use but to just do whatever he wanted.

He sighed and stood. "Yard." With that, he walked towards the back door of their neat little home, Shawn trailing behind him eagerly.

Their house was new. They'd lived there for almost a year, and had bought it after a year and a half of dating, when Carlton had pointed out the fact that he practically lived at Shawn's house and they might as well get a place together. It was a commitment that the detective had been reluctant to ask from the psychic but, well, he did anyway. Shawn had said something about being too young to make big commitments and then a week later, left a flyer for an open house on Carlton's desk. And that was that.

Carlton was also the one who brought up wanting a cat, a month after they moved into their house. Shawn dismissed it, saying, "We're too young, we'll have plenty of time when we're old." A cat might not have been a big responsibility but somehow, it took on a larger significance as a sign of commitment. Three days later, Carlton woke up not quite alone, nose-to-nose with a rather fluffy, green-eyed kitten.

When they reached the little backyard, Carlton perched on a chair and watched as Shawn sprawled out on a lounge chair. The yard was messy and the lawn hadn't been mowed in ages; no one seemed to mind so neither male dealt with it. They sat in silence for a few moments, Shawn seeming to doze off while Carlton went over cases in his head.

Very suddenly, Shawn spoke in a soft voice, almost as if he was speaking in a daze. "Hey, Lassie?"

Carlton glanced over at Shawn and didn't say a word, just watched as the generally more hyperactive male sat up a bit more and fixed his eyes on the yard. "You know what we should do?"

"Hmmm?"

"Let's get one of those domestic partnership things. I mean, I know it's not as good as marriage but…" He cracked a small grin and glanced at Carlton. "I think I'd like to make an honest woman out of you."

There was a long silence, Shawn's smile quickly fading. Carlton paused for a moment and then fixed Shawn with an easy stare and a blank expression.

"You're sure we're not just too young?" The blank look quickly vanished under a smile.

Shawn grinned brilliantly and then looked away. Six days later, he found a stack of papers sitting on his nightstand.


	4. Last

**Chapter Title:** Last 

**Rating:** This one is also pretty much PG

**Pairings:** All Shawn/Lassiter with mentions of Gus/Juliet

**Summary:** Shawn and Lassie might just not be too young for these kinds of things anymore

**Notes:** Thanks to Sushi Chi for editing once more. I kinda like how this one turned out. Shawn makes me laugh. I think this is pretty close to how they're supposed to be but anyway, I think this is pretty decent work

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me still. Very sad.

* * *

Shawn is the last at very few things. He gets to the bottom of cases first, he charms people into bed first, he sees everything first. But at romance, real romance, not just sex, he is the last at everything. There are reasons for this, he is sure. But whatever they are, he doesn't really know. In any case, by the time he decides to do something about his annoying little crush, Gus and Juliet are already dating and have been for two months. Shawn has not been in a real relationship ever and that Gus beat him to the punch is more then a little annoying.

Shawn has been planning this for a week now. He knows the habits of this annoying crush fairly well. He knows that he can expect The Crush to be the last one to leave his desk. He knows he can also expect The Crush to be hostile and not immediately seduced by Shawn's good looks. Shawn knows this and, is surprisingly okay with it. He doesn't normally bother with people who won't go for him right away but this is The Crush so he'll make an exception.

He and Gus have spent the whole day in the station, bothering whoever they could. Vick had no cases so Shawn has only had more time to plan his attack. When six rolls around, most of the force is gone. It is a Friday night and only those who have to stay are. No one is lingering. There are no major cases to hold anyone there. The Crush does not have to work Friday night but The Crush is also a meticulous worker so Shawn knows that neither he nor The Crush will be going anywhere for a while.

Gus and Juliet leave together, giggling among themselves. Shawn says something that's part tease and part jealous jab at Gus. Shawn isn't that mad but that doesn't mean he can't be a jerk. It's surprising how much he hates being last.

The Crush is bent over papers, index finger pressed against his lips in thought. Shawn has to stifle a shutter because the look of concentration on The Crush's face is very attractive. But now is the time for Shawn's plan, something he's titled in his head the 'Super Sexy Attack.'

He saunters over towards The Crush, eliciting an irritated groan. "What do you want Spencer?" The Crush has a lovely voice, even if he's mad right now. For a moment, Shawn pauses and imagines the sounds The Crush would make when in bed. But today is not about sex. Today is about romance. Today is about a potential relationship. Sex would still be nice but that's not the point of today.

"Why Lassie," He drawls, coming to lean on the corner of Lassie's desk. "I just wanted to visit you." Shawn blinks innocently and then gets up and stands behind the male. "That's boring. I've got a better idea."

Lassie groans again. "Spencer, I've got real police work to do. Now why don't you go play elsewhere." That irritated tone again. But still, the younger male doesn't mind.

"But Lassie!" He is leaning very close now and he hopes that Lassie can feel his breath on his neck. Lassie responds by maneuvering his way out of his chair, forcing Shawn to take a few steps back.

"Two things. One: You are irritating. Don't bother me." Lassie's tone is very cold and Shawn is worried. How could things go so wrong in such a short time? It could have been the depressing cases this week but still…

"Two: You are not good at this. Allow me." Shawn has a moment of confusion and then his questions are answered as he finds Lassie leaning towards him and kissing him softly, chastely. He goes to deepen the kiss but Lassie steps back and Shawn almost whines, almost.

Lassie leans over his desk, allowing Shawn a rather lovely sight of his arse. There are no words and Shawn has to think carefully to not screw everything up.

"Hey, Lassie?"

Lassie looks at him, raises one eyebrow and waits.

"Wanna get dinner?"

"Fine." And with that fine comes a rare smile that makes Shawn feel all warm and comfortable.

Shawn is finding that he doesn't care if he is last because he got the better deal.


	5. Goodbye

**Chapter Title:** Goodbye

**Rating:** This one is also pretty much PG

**Pairings:** All Shawn/Lassiter

**Summary:** Which goodbyes are final?

**Notes:** Not beta'd. Anyone wanna beta for me? Forgive any mistakes, I have a splint on my wrist so typing is hard. I'm not sure this chapter is too great. Too cliche maybe... As always, input is welcome. Th more people review, the faster I get up the new chapter! Also, if anyone has any random words or phrases for me to base my next chapter on, just post it in a review or something and maybe I'll use it!

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me still. Very sad.

* * *

Carlton always feared goodbyes when it came to Shawn. He knew how easily the younger male could pick up and move.

On the other side of things, Shawn always feared goodbyes with Carlton. He knew how dangerous being a cop was and he eternally feared the call.

But as they made it to the one year mark of their relationship, they got used to the fear of goodbye. It was the sort of constant white noise of their relationship. Neither one talked about it and neither one openly acknowledged it was there but the fear remained. It was just no use to think about it too much. There was no insurance that either one would stay but they had settled into life.

When the call came, Shawn was playing with Lebee, their brand new kitten. She lunged at his hand just as the phone rang and he pushed her away gently. "One second, let me get the phone." He told the kitten, who merely twitched her nose and impatiently flicked her tail back and forth. He grabbed the phone, pressed the talk button and things started to get fuzzy.

Shawn could never remember exactly what the person on the other end of the line said or who it was but he did remember dropping the phone and staring blankly at the wall. There was a long dark period in his mind but Shawn eventually did find himself in hospital. Everything smelt sterile and there was a young family walking towards the exit, laughing. Shawn wanted to scream at them, tell them to go to hell. Didn't they know that somewhere in this hospital, the bravest cop Shawn knew was slowly dying?

But he didn't yell. He found a nurse and asked in an empty voice, "Do you know where I can find Carlton Lassiter?" He was sent down a corridor, up one floor, right, left, left.

Juliet was there. So was Vick and Gus. Juliet was sobbing and Vick was pacing, back and forth. Gus was trying to placate Juliet. Shawn didn't care. Vick looked up at him and pointed at the room. He didn't stay to hear any consolations.

Carlton was laying in one of those horrible hospital beds. He looked terrible, all hooked up to tubes and wires. There was the steady beeping of his heard monitor and his breathing was ragged. He looked up at Shawn and smiled vaguely. "Hey babe."

Shawn sat at the end of Carlton's bed and looked at him. He couldn't cry, he wished he could. "Hi Lassie." He murmured, resting his hand on Carlton's.

"Doctors say if I make it through tonight, I'll be in the clear." Carlton told him before yawning once.

"You should be sleeping. Getting better." Shawn insisted.

Carlton shrugged and Shawn got up and moved to the chair set up next to the head of the hospital bed. "Please get some sleep. For me Carlton." Shawn insisted, still wishing he could cry, even just a little bit.

The older male sighed. "I suppose I should." He conceded, yawning again and allowing his tired eyes to close. Shawn pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth.

"Good night Carlton."

"Good night Shawn. And if I do-"

Shawn winced. "Don't say that."

Carlton grabbed his hand, his grasp very weak. "And if I don't make it, goodbye. I promise I'll always love you."

Shawn bit his lip, feeling those needed tears. "Just in case…. Goodbye and I love you too."

As he watched Carlton fall into a light sleep, Shawn felt like this goodbye felt like the least final one of all.


	6. Marvelous

**A/N:** I've been away for a LONG time. But I promise, I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things. I've been lax in my Psych watching lately, my dorm life does not always allow for tv time so if anyone is out of character (which they are most certainly are), I apologize. I did my best!! Also, this is unbetaed because I've been lazy and so gone from the fanfiction stuff. Is my old beta out there? I don't know, I've been so out of it!

**Chapter Title:** Marvelous

**Rating: **PG

**Pairings: **Lassy/Shawn

**Summary:** Shawn discovers that doodling little motorcycles is not the same as getting important work done.

**Disclaimers:** None of this belongs to me. Obviously. Also, the poem at the end belongs to ee cumming and whoever is in charge of his estate. Not mine. Don't sue me!

* * *

"You're just too marvelous for words." Shawn frowned, the words sounded all wrong when he read them out loud. Not anything he would say, at least nothing he'd say seriously. It hadn't been his idea to have any kind of real wedding ceremony and he certainly hadn't been the one who mentioned (or, rather insisted on) vows of some sort. That had been Carlton's doing, his insistence that since their relationship was rather unorthodox, they ought to at least do something a little traditional.

Shawn hadn't been able to say no after Carlton had left him boneless and brainless on one of their date nights.

And after all, it wasn't a bad idea. Pledging his love to Carlton and then getting to party and have an excuse for dragging Carlton away from work for a full week and a half? Shawn figured there were worse things in the world.

But the problem still stood: Wedding vow writing was not Shawn's forte. He had never said he loved anyone he'd been with before, not seriously anyway. Promising them eternal love and fidelity? How did anyone do that? He had looked up some samples online but they seemed too saccharine, full of sappy poetry and senseless promises of a perfect life. He simply couldn't do that. He was Shawn Spencer, a man of great creativity. Surely there was some thing, anything else he could say.

It would be humiliating to get up on his wedding day to simply quote classic poems at Carlton. For a moment, the image of himself reading 'Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer's Day?' to an amused Carlton flashed through his head and he winced.

"Having trouble?" A warm, familiar voice cut through Shawn's internal monologue and the man snapped his notebook shut and turned around to see Carlton leaning against the door frame of their bedroom.

"Home early?" Shawn asked, avoiding the question. He didn't want Carlton to be disappointed him or annoyed that after more than two and a half years of dating that Shawn still couldn't come up with anything at all for his vows.

"Yeah, Chief Vick let me off early. Said there was nothing to do, thought I should get home to see if you were still alive or if you had driven a pencil through your head." Shawn grinned slightly. "I figured she was right. Wouldn't want you dead, would I?" Carlton walked across the room, undoing the knot of his tie and unbuttoning the top button on his shirt. Shawn was certain the temperature of the room had risen a few degrees.

"Well… I'm glad." Shawn tossed his notebook carelessly over his shoulder, trying to feign a total lack of worry towards his task of vow writing. With languid movements, Shawn rose from his spot sitting on their bed and approached Carlton, wrapping his arms around the man's neck and pulling him in for a slow kiss. The detective indulged him for a few moments before pulling away.

"You didn't answer me though. How's the vow writing going?"

Shawn grinned a little too widely, looking just a little desperate to be believed. "Oh, you know, they're great. You'll love them. I'd be surprised if the ladies there don't try and steal me away right away." He quickly kissed Carlton again, more urgently, trying to distract him. Shawn could not let him discover that after a day of work, the only thing Shawn had written in his notebook was 'You are too marvelous for words' and a stick figure driving a motorbike Shawn had seen online.

"Shawn…" Carlton's voice was a low tone against Shawn's mouth, an annoyed warning that Carlton wanted to know what the real answer was. But before they could get any further, Carlton's phone buzzed in his pocket. He jumped away and answered it, voice sharp and professional. The exchange was quick, Carlton off the phone within a moment. "I have to go back in, something came up in one of my cases, I'll be back as quick as I can. And we will talk about the vows later tonight." There was a hint of a threat under Carlton's words and Shawn almost gulped. A quick kiss was all Carlton had time for before he was rushing through the house, grabbing his coat at the door and leaving their cozy home.

Shawn collapsed onto their bed, sighing and then finally rising to collect his notebook. One sentence and a motorbike would not do for a wedding vow. And, really, Shawn believed Carlton deserved better. He was still surprised the detective even bothered with him when he was just a-

His computer emitted a quick ringing noise, interrupting Shawn's session of moping with an email. He moved across the room quickly, settling at the desk and clicking on the email, eager to see what might have come to distract him from the task at hand. It was an email from Jules, a sure bet of an afternoon of distraction and not-vow-writing.

But when he read the email, his visions of a carefree afternoon vanished. Her email was quick but it made him grin like a loon.

'his favorite poet is ee cummings. start there.'

Trust Jules to find just the right bit of information to help Shawn out. He'd owe her in a big way when he finished getting his vow done. Grabbing his notebook, it took Shawn only a few minutes to search for the poet online.

Finally, as he read through a few selected works, Shawn found the words he'd been lacking for weeks come rushing in. Perhaps the vow wouldn't be entirely characteristic and usual of him but, then again, how often would he get to do this kind of thing? So he started to write, knowing this was what he meant.

_'Carlton, it takes a strong man and a strange man to get up in front of his friends and family and read poetry to anyone at all, even the man he is marrying. So let this be a proof of just how much I love you._

_i carry your heart with me(i carry it in_ _my heart)i am never without it(anywhere_ _i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done_ _by only me is your doing,my darling)_ _i fear_ _no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want_ _no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)_ _and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant_ _and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_here is the deepest secret nobody knows_ _(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_ _and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows_ _higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)_ _and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

_i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)'_


End file.
